'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
