Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
