the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize