But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
