it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
