this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
