ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
