She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
