So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he fucked my hip out of place.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
