Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
