Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
