i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
