Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh god the rape fog is back!
You can't motorboat a personality
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize