Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
