quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize