I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just high enough for therapy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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