just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
