She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
