so that wasnt chicken after all
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
