Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
