he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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