just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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