YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
