You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
