My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
