so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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