Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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