If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
