I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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