Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Please, let me fuck your mom
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
