the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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