She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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