Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
