your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
