so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
