first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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