We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
