And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
