It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
