I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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