I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
