she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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