I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
