Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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