Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize