I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
