homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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