Michael Bay diarrhea
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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