Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
