There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
