Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
