I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize