Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
