ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
