Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
