there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
