Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
