Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My ass is underappreciated
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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