LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
