i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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