physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
