my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
