yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
