I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
